Lost ones

Since March this year I appear to be in a constant state of mourning. In March I lost my darling Fudge and last week my beloved cousin Donna was taken from us. Fudge was old and was clinging on after several strokes. I was visiting my parents when she went downhill.  The vet was called and I was able to say goodbye. I buried my nose into her fur and smelt her comforting doggy smell for the last time. Kissing her I told her she was a good girl and that I'd miss her. I took Arch to my old room and told him what was happening and that he was a good dog too. For once he was calm and lay with his head on my lap whilst my tears spilt onto his brown fur.  I loved little fudge so much. She was so gentle with other creatures and although she chased cats. she's always give them a head start and if she ever caught up with them she'd start sniffing the ground and pretend to be distracted so the cat could run away. She was my faithful friend during my late teenage years and she shared all my angst and secrets from that time, She never judged and all she wanted in return was affection and her sock thrown. 

On the first of July my cousin Donna was taken from us. She was 46.  She was sick on and off for as long as I knew her.  She had lymphoma when she was younger and the treatment left her in poor health. A few years ago she had a pacemaker fitted. 

Despite her health troubles she was the life and soul of the party. No family get together was the same without her. She loved men especially ones with hairy chests: it was the first thing she had wanted to know about my Mark. She made fun of my brothers and my scottish accents and we made fun of her gravesend accent. We stole her cigarettes and my old brother bit off all the filters.  She didn't make a fuss ever though she couldn't afford a new pack. She told me a rude story about the song "turning japanese" with hilarious face pulling and hand actions. I was told she had an amazing singing voice but sadly I never got to hear it. whilst my mum was expecting me she craved curry. Donna would cycle to my mum's and talk about curry till my mum wanted a take away. then donna would get some curry too. It's probably because of Don that I can't live without curry!  She was there for me when I went through a bad time in my early twenties and gave me the strength to move on with me life. 

I knew she was ill but I never thought she'd die. How can that happen to someone with so much life? I phoned her whilst she was in hospital but only got her answering machine. I hope she got my message. I hope she knew that I was thinking about her. even when we hadn't spoken for ages. I hope she knew I loved her. 

Misty time of year

Well it is for me anyways!. last weekend I managed to destroy two pairs of contact lenses, leaving me with none. So, this week I've been wearing my glasses which are 8 years old, scratched and way too weak for me. The effect on my character has been quite dramatic. I have found myself to be quite withdrawn and quiet and have found it hard to look anyone in the eye. With the grey weather over the last few days it's made my vision ever worse and i've found it hard even to do the most simplest of tasks like going shopping or tidying the house. Walking through town is a nightmare and not being able to judge depth I have walked into several people with them tutting or shouting at me to look where I'm going. In the evenings when the light had completely gone then there's not much for me to do but go to bed.  

I'm just so grateful that i don't have this problem all the time. It's given me a new appreciation and understanding what the blind and partially sighted go through. 

Try Chai

The weather here is rotten at the moment: low cloud and rain. It's the first time I've had to wear a jumper, A sure sign that winter is on it's way. 

Searching for something warming I ordered a Chai Latte, a wonderful blend of Indian spices and warm milk. Back at home and with my teeth chattering I set to work making it for myself and it turned out pretty yummy. The good thing about making it at home is that it fills the air with warm scents plus you don't have to go out in the cold to pick one up. 

Ingredients

4 cinnamon sticks, broken up.

1 1/2 tsps ground ginger

6 cardamom pods (roughly crushed)

6 cloves

1 bay leaf 

1 litre water

1 tablespoon of sugar (this can be left till the end when a sweetener of your choice can be added instead)

(a teaspoon of black tea can be added but decided to leave it out)

1 vanilla pod or 2 drops of vanilla essence

You'll also need a saucepan, a fine strainer and a clean glass jar or bottle with lid.

Boil the water in a pan. 

Add the cinnamon, cardamom, ginger, cloves and bay leaf.

Add the sugar.

Simmer mixture for 20 minutes. It should reduce by half. If it reduces to less than that top up with water to half a litre. After 20 minutes add the tea leaves if preferred and simmer for a further 10 minutes. After that time it should have a "soupy" consistency.  Strain the contents of the pan into the clean jar or bottle. Add vanilla pod or vanilla essence and put on the lid firmly. this mixture will last for a week. 

To make the chai latte, Fill about 1/3 with the chai syrup then top up with hot milk. For a naughty treat why not add a teaspoon of chocolate powder? I did!

Reason I love my hubster No. 9000456

Whilst getting ready for bed last night I told my Hubster that I'd bought him some hair gel and it was on the stairs. He kept on saying "where on the stair?" After getting a bit annoyed with him for being so lazy and not looking for it  I realised that he was quoting from this song. We then continued together to sing the rest of the chorus. Silly I know, but It's one of those little moments that one looks back on and your heart grows that little bit more.

I love to chaat

I'm in love and his name is Simla Chaat. I had this dish on my hen night last year  when we went to the Suruchi restaurant in Edinburgh and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I love the mixture of spicy and sweet.  I'm not too sure where the name comes from other than that Simla is an Indian city (now called Shimla) in the north of India and was seen as the 'summer capital' of the British Raj and that Chaat is an Indic word literally meaning to lick. Well since making and eating it I haven't been able to stop licking my lips!!

Recipe

A splash of olive oil

2 garlic cloves (minced)

1 Red chilli (finely chopped)

1 teaspoon ground ginger

1 tablespoon ground coriander

2 teaspoons chaat masala (from most good Indian food shops)

Small bunch of fresh coriander leaves (finely chopped)

400g can of chickpeas (washed and drained)

1/2 cup of  water

1 tablespoon of mango chutney

1 small cucumber (peeled and diced)

1 ripe banana (peeled and diced)

Heat the oil in a saucepan over a medium heat. Add the garlic and chillis stirring until fragrant. add the ground ginger, ground coriander, chaat masala and half the fresh coriander leaves. stir for 1/2 a minute. Add the chickpeas, water and mango chutney. Simmer (stirring occasionally) until the chickpeas are tender and the juices have evaporated. leave to cool (This tastes lovely just as it is with pitta bread)

Once cool add the rest of the fresh coriander leaves, cucumber and banana. Serve as a starter or as a light lunch with pitta bread or chapatis.

Give me music

At the moment I've really got back into music and am dying to find that rare "wow" song that when I first hear it it will make me stop in my tracks and take the breath from my lungs.  There are some songs that when I listen to them they completely absorb me, time stops and for the duration of the song nothing else exists, just me, the song and my emotions. one such song is somewhere a clock is ticking by snow patrol (excuse the video). my heart feels like it's beating in time with the music. When I listen to it I feel love, I feel passion and also scared as it takes me over. Another snow patrol song with a similar effect is It's beginning to get to me. The end of the song is so emotional it brings tears to my eyes. I love that about music. some people take drugs to change their moods but I'd rather listen to an amazing song. One song that I listen to to lift my spirits is Yes by Mcalmont and Butler. I always listen to it when I'm doubting myself and it always makes me feel a little kick ass after. 

After all that excitement I need my comedown song. My older brother started my love of Tuvan music, especially Yat kha . Their song Amdy baryp  is amazing and will take you to the Gobi tundra, whether you want to go or not. Enjoy

Dinner Party

So, after a weekend of waking up in the middle of the night with random recipes in my head I've decided what I'm going to cook for our guests on Saturday; Bruschettas to start (One with tomato topping, the other with mushrooms), Chicken breast with Mediterranean style stuffing, wrapped in prosciutto served on a bed of sweet potato mash for the main and syllabub for the dessert. I may even make my home made amaretti!